


The Journal of Kayden Black

by lostangelofhavik



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:53:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27706532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostangelofhavik/pseuds/lostangelofhavik
Summary: The tale of the infamous Hunter, Kayden Black, also known as Dredgen Havik. His story is one of the struggle between the Light, the Dark, and a wish that would change his life forever.
Kudos: 11





	1. Rise Against Those Who Fall

  
It was a warm summer day. Ocula was hovering a few paces before me as we made our way to our target. It was the Age of Triumph, and I was a rising star among the Vanguard’s ranks. I knew my job and did it well. This little endeavor was a routine. Some locals not too far outside the City were in need of assistance with the Fallen.

The Fallen, or rather, the Eliksni, were in a bit of an upheaval themselves. Granted, seemed that's all they knew at that point. We were wiping out their Houses left and right. Not even stolen golden age tech gave'em an edge. Still, it wasn't too odd to find some organized groups. Captains leading scrappy contingents of Vandals and Dregs. Always a Servitor on hand too for their precious Ether.

This one-man wrecking crew assignment was supposed to be quick and easy. In and out. Nothing about my lives since Ocula have been easy. That should’ve steered me towards caution but...I prefer fun.

The people, all human, looked up as I walked into the settlement. Many showed signs of wounds and scars, no doubt inflicted by the Fallen that seemed to "run" things. Likewise, as the people noticed me, so did the Eliksni. 

I call'em by their true name you see. Never liked reducing them to something less. Might be good for them. Shattered pride and all that but, nah. They have worth just like the rest of us. After all, the Traveler chose them too, once upon a time.

The dregs hissed and clicked at one another, unsure of what to make of me. Ocula was tucked away. She was hovering behind me, beneath my cloak. She moved when I did, seamlessly.

There was a captain sitting in a throne made of scraps. The structure reminded of the seats Kells had on their ketches. And here this haughty thing was, fancied himself beyond his station. He lifted all four eyes to meet mine as I paused before the makeshift throne.

"I've come to take these people to the Last City." I spoke plainly, while the other Eliksni took positions. They knew what I was. Sort of. I don't think many of this lot had much experience with us. Still they had so much...hubris. I used to think it only made fools of men but turns out, it's a trait many a creature can possess.

The Captain lurched forth, standing tall as he rose from his makeshift throne. He had a good foot on me in stature. As I gazed up at him, I smirked. He spat out his Eliksni words. I didn't know the language. Not well enough to converse. So I judged the tone. He was offended it seemed. Made sense. I then heard the whine of a shock rifle.

"Guess we're doing this your way then." I said before the arc energy shot through my skull. Things went black for a moment. Another death had found me. And in another instant, the Light snatched me back. My eyes flickered as I felt Ocula pulse her spark through me. The Captain was seated once more while the Vandal that I assumed took the shot paced warily around me. Dregs went to surround the Captain while other Vandals surrounded me. This was going to be slick.

Finding my moment, I leapt up as high as I could. As I spun, I reached for the void until I could grip it in my hands. I drew back and fired my tether. Hit the Vandal that shot me in the face. Landing, I pulled my Eyasluna from my holster and fired several shots. The Void Achor took care of the rest. 

The Captain let out a loud angry hiss as his cohorts vanished into nothing but a flash of purple energy. He leapt up and rushed me, pulling two Shock Blades. I felt the eyes of the people on me as the creature charged. Closing my eyes, I let my Light channel into the cannon in my hand. As I raised it, Solar energy burst through my form. I took aim and fired a single shot just as the Captain closed in on me. His corpse burned into the nothing as it collided with me, leaving my armor and cloak covered in ashes. 

The fire faded after a moment and I holstered my cannon. The people gathered behind me and as I faced them, Ocula poked out finally. How she stayed hidden well enough to rez me is a secret she's yet to tell me. Suppose it's better that way. Before I could speak, she chirped.

"We're here to lead you to the safety of the Last City. This is Kayden Black, a Hunter of the Vanguard. No need to fear. He'll keep you safe." She said. I smile warmly as she compliments me. I didn't feel like I deserved the praise. Yet, here I was with all the hope in this dying world staring back at me.

"Gather your things. We should begin our trek back before nightfall." I said after a long pause.

Most Guardians made their names in the Dark and City Ages. But I’ve only had the Light for a couple of years now. This skirmish was where my legend began. A sole Hunter taking on a small clutch of Fallen in an abandoned town. It's all Ocula talked about for weeks. She was so proud and happy. I felt bad for her. Still thought she made a mistake raising me. Then again I didn't know how much she really cared.


	2. Hero

I knew a guy once. Friendly type. Hell, to be honest he lit up the whole Tower. Never a dull moment and never one to shy away from anything. He helped me learn how to be me. Taught me how to focus the use of the Light. Wether it was calling out a cannon from Solar fire, or summoning Arc blades and staves. Whew. But drawing the bow from the Void? Listen. There’s nothing like a good tether. Comes in handy. I should know. That's how I earned my stripes.

I'm getting sidetracked though. Back to the guy. Now, we're all a bunch of misfits. Better than what we were before if the stories of the Dark age are true. But still, we're not perfect. We fancy ourselves tiny gods, battling cosmic entities with our powers. We protect the common folk. Keep'em outta harm. Yeah. There's a problem when you go to paint that picture though. Alot of ugly underneath a beautiful portrait.

They always talk about heroes. Never the victims. Everybody's gotta go, right? But I'll tell you something. I remember the day that the Tower lost it's light. I remember the day laughter died. It didn't go out in a beautiful blaze of glory. No. It faded in a prison.

The story spread like a wildfire in a dead forest. Everybody's favorite returned with the body of the Hunter Vanguard. I was eating a bowl of ramen. I'm not one to get sentimental, but Ocula knew the minute the news was whispered in my ear. Another Hunter told me. I left my bowl right there with a small pile of glimmer. Enough for two. I always leave enough for two now.

Long story short, I didn't need to hear much for motivation. Didn't give two shits about a why. Word came down from Ikora and Zavala. No operation. No strike. We were to remain focused on the City and our people...Did I understand that? Sure. Did I care? No. 

"How?" was a thought that weighed on me. I was quiet but Ocula occasionally would ask why I kept looking at her that day. I told her a lie every time she asked. I'm pretty sure she knew it too. She always knows. But I was too focused on the "who" of the whole shit show. Uldren Sov was going to die. No trial. No prison. He had Ace. Stole it from my dying friend. That's really all I needed to know. It was enough. 

The Hanger was the busiest I'd ever seen it. I fired up my ship's engines. Turned off comms and went dark. Into wild I went. Like I said. They always talk about heroes. Cayde was a hero. But heroes still die. Heroes can be victims too. Suppose that's the joke of all of this. The bitterest pill of this life, Post-Collapse.


	3. The Draw & A Wish

I woke in the Tower's med bay. First time I'd felt the Light pulsing through me in...I don't know. Can't remember. There's something else too now. Something...foreign. Something dark.

"Kayden?" Ocula's mechanically affectionate tone pulls my attention to her. Her cerulean eye staring into mine as she hung there in the dark of the room.

"Bit slow on the rez huh? You're gettin' rusty old friend." I replied, jokingly of course. My mind was still a blur. My memories weren't coming the way they should. Still. Far more concerning was the burning sensation I felt coursing through my being like wildfire.

"You didn't die...but this is the first time you've responded to the Light. It's been two weeks...I was afraid I'd lost you."

My eyes widened as they fell upon my little spark once more.

"What?" I would have tried to hide the shock. But everything hurt. I ran a hand through my hair as I tried to remember. "What happened?"

Ocula moved around me, scanning me as I asked the question. No answer came. I asked again. Nothing still. Just the sound of her buzzing about my body, examining me.

"Ocula...please..." I spoke in the tone I only used when I absolutely needed her to know I was serious. Hindsight. I probably joked way too much. Something told me that part of me was lost somewhere now. Gone like my memories.

"I...I have the feed if you want to see it." She replied moving to my side. I took a deep breath and nodded. I needed to know even though I still wasn't ready to. Another thing...my necklace was...gone. Nevermind. I could hear the footage starting and it drew my attention to the wall as Ocula projected it.

I recognized the location almost immediately. The Broodhold in the Tangled Shore. Chased the Mindbender's mate there one time before with a team. Routine strike. But this was different. Some weird Hive acolyte holding something that looked dangerously close to a Thorn. There I was. Full Reverie Dawn gear on. Showing off. A Hive summoning circle is beneath me and to my surprise, The Last Word appears to me just as the Acolyte raised it's weapon to fire.

I spun the black & gold beauty once and fanned it's hammer as I pulled the trigger. The Acolyte was stunned when I got the shot off. It vanished. In it's wake, another screaming wave of Thrall charged forth. The Last Word was gone too and in it's place, my Blast Furnace pulse rifle. Seemed not enough time to process. I caught the first Thrall to reach me with my knife, and downed a couple more with head shots as I pressed on. 

Once I got past the Thrall, I found the Acolyte again. Only this time, seemed he had a double. No problem. Another summoning circle, and there the Last Word was once again. I snatched it and fired. It's weird watching me move so fast. Felt a bit out of body but perhaps that was also because I didn't remember any of this yet but....slowly it was coming back.

The Acolyte vanished again, as the double faded into the nothing. And once again, Thrall and even a couple Knights came this time around. I shot my way through'em all, though one of the Knights got in a good slash across my chest.

"Kayden!" Ocula's voice was loud, and filled with concern but I recovered well. The Knight fell and as I stood over it, I pulled my knife from it's skull and sheathed it before moving on.

My breathing was heavy. I could hear my frustration in each breath. As I watched, it was as if I could feel something coiling around inside me and I clutched my chest. Still. I looked on.

I came to another summoning circle. Same deal. The Acolyte came. Three of'em this time. And like clock work, there was Word. I gripped it while the three raised their weapons. There were four shots fired. Three loud, firm, and unyielding blasts. The other, a sickly howl letting loose a projectile that threatened to tear the universe itself.

The three fell. The two copies faded while the real mccoy laid there. I couldn't tell from the footage but if I had the guess, the sound I heard it make as it fell felt like a laugh. A dying, cruel cackle. But why? The next sound that hit my ears though, made it all make sense. I was coughing. Violently so. Gasping for air.

"Kayden...Kayden are you..?" Ocula paused. Her focus was on me now. And I was...I was...

"I'm hit..." The feed confirmed what I was too afraid to admit.

"I can fix it...just..." Ocula's tone grew uncharacteristically frantic. Me? I was hacking up a lung. I'd fallen to my knees. There was a hole in my sternum, with green smoke emitting from the entry. I also saw my necklace, the jagged pendant dangling just above the wound. I saw flashes of the Light as Ocula tried to heal me but...her silence at each failed attempt told me she had already figured it out. She was going to lose me. Right there in that cavern.

"Stop...my mask please.." My voice was breaking up. I was choking on my own blood as the bullet did it's work. Damn Hive and their ways of draining the Light. Somehow I knew this would be how I bit it. Ocula transmatted my mask off, and I fell over. I laughed weakly. I could still feel the Last Word in my grip.

Ocula just hovered there. Her eye staring into mine. My free hand reached up and clutched the necklace and I forced myself to sit up. It looked like it hurt. I was fading fast. As my breaths became more and more labored, I closed my eyes.

"I'm sorry Ocula..." I said between breaths. I fell back once more. "So much...left to do...so little time..."

Ocula was quiet still. I watched as I closed my eyes and took my final breaths. Atleast...what were supposed to be my final breaths. The feed ended there. Somehow, I felt more lost than I had been before.

“Did that…help?” Ocula asked, turning to me and hovering closer.

“I…died? But you said-”

I was interrupted by a flash of light as Ocula transmatted my necklace on to the tray aside my bed, as well as the Last Word.

“I took it off of you so they wouldn’t see…” She said while I took the piece in my hand. In the feed I just saw jagged edges but holding it now…I realized what it was. The veil finally dropped. “It’s a tooth right? From an Ahamkara?”

I looked to the little Light at my side. When she spoke of the Wish Dragons, that’s when I heard it for the first time.

_“She doesn’t have the answer you seek, O bearer mine.”_

The voice was low, and quiet. A whisper. I wanted to keep my eyes on my ghost, but they wandered to the remnant of the dead thing in my hand.

_“Even the bravest of souls fear the emptiness of the void. And into that void you called in your most dire moment. And an answer came…”_

I closed my eyes as I listened to the voice in my head. My free hand rested against my chest. That’s when I felt the remnant. In that moment I realized what had happened. I realized what I’d done. The truth of it burned like hell fire, through my frame.

When I laid there dying. As I took those last breaths. I did a foolish thing. Something that, honestly, anyone facing death would. I hoped against hopelessness. My heart cried out in the dark. My desire to live…it was a wish. A silent wish of an already dead man, clutching a dead thing. Maybe if I remembered the price others paid for their wishes…maybe things would be different.

“Ocula?” I asked finally after remaining silent for a time.

“What is it, Kayden?” She asked, more concern in her tone.

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course.”

“Promise me something.” I looked to her then, as I spoke.

“Anything.”

I took a long deep breath, and followed it with a sigh.

“I’ve done something I fear I can’t come back from…should a time come where I wander too far down this road…don’t bring me back.” I said it before I even could process what was happening to me, let alone comprehend what I was asking of her. Another silence befell the room. I closed my eyes once again as I fell back on the bed, clutching the tooth to my chest. That was Ocula’s answer. The quiet silence of her own melancholy as she took in my request.

To this day, I still feel guilty. She never asked for any of this. Then again, I guess, neither did I. Yet here we were. Nothing prepares you for Sorrow’s Road. Wish I would have known that going in. Actually. I take that back…

I don’t make wishes any more.


	4. Luck of The Draw

He sat there, slumped over in a chair. His ghost? Nothing but a pile of metal and scraps aside his body. He's choking. Laughing as blood trails from his lips. He raises his eyes to meet the Hive fire in mine.

The same fire emits from the cannon in my hand as I pace over to this...guardian? No. This shadow of a fine man. He laughs more, then coughs, then a cackle. His breaths become steadier as his last life begins to fade from him.

"Go on, monster...fin-" I plant another devourer into his chest before he finishes. The strike of my cannon's hammer causes Ocula to flutter out from hiding.

"Kayden..." She says. Her tone cold, melancholy. I turn to face her as the fire in my eyes gives way to their normal blue. The gaze she remembers. "Why?"

"He drew on me first. Told'em not to." I shrug as I reply. But she sees through. She sees the sickness beneath. The war raging within me. She's seen it ever since she raised me. It was only more prevalent now since that incident on the Shore.

"You came here to talk." She scolds.

"Sometimes, one must speak loudly in order to be heard." I say, shoving the cannon into the leather holster on my waist. The bones slightly tear at the material.

"That..thing of yours. It doesn't speak as loud as the other. So why use it? Or have you fully embraced that diseased title so many covet?"

"Dredgen? You don't approve?"

We make our way out of the ruined building. Turning to face the east, we watch as the dust kicks up on the road. The sound of Sparrow engines warn that we've been discovered yet again, long before several forms appear. My cannon disappears, and a burst of Light places another at my hip. An unmistakable gold and black frame. A familiar feeling washes over me as I smirk at the clever, shimmering onyx shell hovering aside me. I raise the hood of my cloak before pulling this new cannon from it's holster, spinning it in my grip.

"Another conversation seems imminent." Ocula chirps with sass as she watches me.

"Bet I'll have the last word." I say as I ready my cannon, training it on the six figures pulling up. They should have drawn. Now they won't have the chance. Their curiosity had put them in the dirt long before they found me in that shattered EDZ town. I just finished what the Whispers had already started. Those poor ghosts. I gave'em a choice another wouldn't. They chose wrong.

Someone would find all seven of those shadows. Someone would find the momento mori I left in the one inside the building. I'll hear about it later, pretty sure about that. Still. I'm alive. And they aren't. We all have a chance. But if you're jumpin' out there, drawin' on a rogue like me then you're playing a little too fast and loose. You won't always be lucky. Don't be so quick to roll the dice.


	5. On My Mind

"I've seen you out there, brother. You're not like everybody's favorite huh?" The Drifter's voice always seemed to catch me before his presence did. Never seen his Ghost, but I swear it notices me before I walk into his little corner of the Annex.

"Nope. You know me. I enjoy the game," I reply, leaning on the rail opposite him. He passes me a package. An engram. I would watch my surroundings but Ocula's always doing that for me. She comes hovering in, her eye focused on the man with no name.

"She still doesn't like me, huh?" He jokes, cracking that trademark smile of his. Still haven't exactly decided on how much I trust it yet. Ahamkara were known to smile too after all. All teeth.

"She has a name." I reply.

"Yes. It's Ocula. And...it's not that I don't like you. You just don't seem genuine...but we both heard those tapes." My Ghost hasn't ever been afraid to be direct or speak her mind. I smirk at her honest comment, glancing at her.

"Whoa there. Take it easy, sister. You two didn't come here to talk about all that nonsense now, did ya?" He dodged question like he did most things. I'm a bit used to it by now. It's kinda funny. You can tell alot about one's secrets the closer to the chest they hold'em.

"I'm just here for a few bounties. I'm about to head into a game of Prime with my crew." I say honestly, shrugging. He gives me what I ask for. Enough bounties for more than a few games. He knows by now, I do enjoy the hell out of some Gambit. As I turn to take my leave, the rogue Lightbearer clears his throat.

"Hold up a second, kid." He says. I glance over my shoulder at him.

"Yeah?"

"I heard some folks talking. Said a bunch of shadows got themselves laid out in the EDZ."

"Our friend with the golden gun is back?" I reply casually.

"Not his M.O. One of'em had a few thorns in'em. You wouldn't know anything about that would you, kid?" He asked, standing there flipping his coin as his eyes burn a hole through me. 

I smirk and shrug, waving as I leave the Annex, heading to my ship.

"I'll never understand some of the choices you make," Ocula says, hovering around in the cockpit as I turn on the engines.

"Thanks for always backing my play." I reply.

"I still worry..."

"I know."

We're both quiet for a time as we take the trip to the Derelict. It isn't a sad silence. It's one of understanding. My little Light and I have always been...close. She's not just my friend. Not just my Ghost and life line. She's my partner. We made a pact when Cayde and Sundance died. Made her swear, and she made me do the same. That their fate would never be ours.


	6. Ballad

"Are you recording?"

"Yes." Ocula replied in an annoyed tone as I gaze at her.

"Alright...here it goes..."

I exhale a long, deep sigh and begin. 

“The corruption's spread so far through me, I barely feel the Light in my abilities. My burning Solar cannon. My Arc staff. The bow I snatch from the Void. All of these things and more...They feel so...angry. Gone is the life I once knew. All that's left to me now is...the call of the Deep.”

I look to Ocula. I feel the regret building in my chest. I know what I'm leading her in to. I know one day we will find the battle that we won't come back from.

“My name….my name is Kayden Black. And this is my best guess at my affliction…” The words leave my mouth slowly as I contemplate each one. “We are slayers of gods and men alike. Controversial, I know. Not too many of us are willing to call a spade a spade, and we’ve paid for it. It’s a cost non-Lightbearers could never understand and frankly, that’s not a bad thing just…unfortunate.”

I went on. My words felt like an eternity was leaving my lips as I spoke my truth. What I’d done in the Tunnels beneath the Tangled Shore. My failure. My...cowardice. I spoke of the wish that both saved, and cursed me.

“I studied the Ahamkara when Petra opened the Reef to us. It was an attempt to better understand the history of the Dreaming City, our Great Hunt, and the Awoken’s assistance with it. I felt...perhaps within that history, I could find a solution to the curse brought on when Riven was killed. Nevermind the fact that I was gifted one of her teeth as a souvenir by my friend, Ajax. He knows well the curiousities I harbor.”

Ocula tilts, her eye focusing hard on me. I give her a soft, albeit sad smile before continuing. “I know. I’ma fool.”

I pause for a moment. Gathering my thoughts, I take a deep breath and continue.

“Whatever this is....It’s taking root. Tendrils of it stretch out from the shard left in my chest, infecting all that I am...All that I was.”


End file.
